You know how it is.  Cards, red roses, chocolates and intimate dinners are all heralded as ‘must do’ components of 14th February, another commercialized festival with little justification.  You can sympathize with Valentine of Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD 269.  You can be transported by the first recorded association of Valentine's Day with romantic love in Geoffrey Chaucer’s ‘The Parliament of Fowls’ (1382).  You may even recall that the burden of this epic is that Nature convenes a parliament at which the birds all choose their mates.

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

What tends to be forgotten, of course, is that the dream ends with the mate-choosing ritual being put off for yet another year.

However, there are some amongst us who feel that it is more appropriate to perpetuate the older tradition of ‘paganica’ brought to Britain by the Romans during Julius Caesar's expeditions in 55 and 54 BC.  The game of ‘paganica’, that some right-thinking historians believe was the origin of golf, was played with a feather stuffed ball and a curved stic.

This logic did not impress ‘She who must be obeyed’ when Rabbit 2 mentioned that he and Rabbit 1 would be faced with the ProAm might of the Captain and James in a modern contest of paganica on the morning of 14th February.  ‘Why not Ian Mowbray ?’ the knowledgeable might ask.  The really knowledgeable, however, would be aware that it is thoughtless to mention bath-taps in his presence.

So at 9.00 a.m. on St Valentine’s Day, a starting time considered by Rabbits 1 and 2 to be early afternoon, the fateful occasion began to get under way.

The Captain checked that he was not carrying too many clubs.  Rabbit 1 tried to remember where he had put the insert to keep his knitted hat from collapsing.

In the distant background James was putting in some serious practice, a reminder of what should be done to those of us who just wander onto the first tee in the confident expectation that all will be well.





Rabbits 1 and 2 had previously had earnest discussions about ‘dog licences’ and other euphemisms for a regrettable outcome. Rabbit 2 was brooding gloomily about this and keeping an understandably low profile, wondering whether roses and chocolates might have been a more comfortable option.

 There was an inevitable shuffling of feet when Rabbit 2 suggested a Team photograph.  You are to be spared the inevitably boring outcome but not a rather more intriguing record of the preparative stage.
 
What can have been of such consuming interest to the Captain and James about Rabbit 1?  Think but don’t answer, the thought police are ever with us.

The golf was unremarkable, the company incomparable.  One memorable quote by James after a less than perfect shot - ‘I see that you are going off-road.’  Another more consoling quote from Rabbit 1, the epitome of the Corporate Man, after the Captain and James won on the 17th - ‘It is proper on such occasions to let the Captain win’.

There is no record of quotes from Mrs Rabbit 1 and Mrs Rabbit 2.  Valentine v Paganica – no contest.

David Murdoch was attracted to the proposed innovative way of keeping the fairways nicely manicured but, on closer inspection, realised that his budget would not stretch to cover the wages bill.

                                                                         


Liphook Golf Club Elders Section

Elders’ golf is a major activity within the Club.  The Elders play can be broken down as follows:

· 39 matches in the period March to October being Home and Away legs against 19 clubs and a ‘Home one year Away the next’ against a 20th.  Each match is led by a Match Manager and players are expected to play in both the Home and Away legs.  Teams range in strength from 12 to 16 players.

· An Inter-Club Invitational event between the 20 clubs we play.

· A Guest Invitational.

· An end-of-season foursomes (the John Ling Trophy). 

· In the winter months from October to February, the Elders hold an American Tournament in groups followed by a knockout phase between individual group winners. 

Elders golf is open to all male members aged 60 or over, with a current handicap, at no cost other than match fees which cover lunch and refreshments.

In addition to those activities that are run exclusively by the Elders, the Club organises and runs three events for Elders with differing age qualifications.  These are:

· The Veterans Championship, a knock out tournament for male members aged 65 and over.

· The Liphook Seniors Putter, an 18 hole Stableford event for male members aged 70 and over on 1 July in the year of competition.

· The Seniors Autumn Open.  This event is a major 18 hole Stableford competition for male golfers aged over 60.  It is open to both visitors and qualified Liphook members.  In 2007, the second year of this event, it was oversubscribed.

More Information on Elders activities can be obtained from Michael Whiteman, the Elders Coordinator - WhitemanMN@aol.com or telephone 01428 724950.

There will still be anchorites and troglodytes in the depths of what remains of the Green Belt who have not yet heard that the Rules of Golf have been revised and will adopt their new form on New Year’s Day.  There is no substitute for arming yourself with your own copy (free, except for postage, through the R and A website www.randa.org) but you may read below about the principal changes to the version of the Rules with which Frank College Arbiter is so masterfully familiar.  We regret that the print is rather blurred.